Daily Refill - June 14, 2025 - This Mental Health Strategy Works Better Than Self-Care (And Hardly Anyone Talks About It)

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Most self-care advice says the same thing:

Take time for yourself.

Set boundaries.

Do the inner work.

But here’s what no one tells you: sometimes the best way to feel better is to stop focusing on yourself entirely.

Ella Baker once said, “Give light, and people will find the way.”

It sounds poetic — but there’s a real psychological truth buried in that line.

Science shows that acts of kindness trigger feel-good chemicals in our brains: dopamine, serotonin, even oxytocin. But more than that, they interrupt the mental loops that keep us stuck in our own heads.

Instead of asking:

“What’s wrong with me today?”

Ask:

“How can I make someone else feel seen today?”

Here’s how you can put it into practice:

• Feeling isolated? Message a friend who might be struggling.

• Stuck in low motivation? Cheer on someone else’s progress.

• Craving peace? Send someone a calming thought or resource.

• Needing reassurance? Give a heartfelt compliment.

This isn’t about ignoring your needs. It’s about creating an environment that lifts everyone — including you.

People might say, “You’re always so calm and grounded.”

But you’ll know it’s not some magic trick. It’s just generosity, in disguise.

What’s one way you could give light today?

Reply to this email — I’d love to hear.

Be kind to yourself by being kind to others,

Matt

I write to connect — not to shout into the void.

If this spoke to you, the best way to keep the conversation going is through my parent newsletter.

I’d love to land in your inbox now and then.