Slow Productivity for Tired Parents: The Power of an “Enough” List

You know that moment when you finally sit down—not to do something, just to exist—and your brain immediately punishes you with a montage of failure?

The email collecting dust. The laundry breeding in the washer. That project you’ve rescheduled four weekends in a row.

That constant background hum of “not enough” isn’t motivation.

It’s erosion.

And if you’re a parent in the thick of real life—the kind where you haven’t had a full thought in three years—it slowly eats away at your energy, your self-trust, and your creativity.

So what if the most powerful self-care idea on the table right now is this: you stop trying to do everything, and start deciding what’s enough?

Today’s post is brought to you by Beehiiv (which powers this very newsletter!):

Beehiiv continues to impress with a lineup of world class products for newsletter writers and content creators. They had a slew of announcements recently, so make sure to check them out, get a free month to start and 20% off your next three months!

1. When “Busy” Stops Being a Season and Becomes an Identity

If you’ve been tired for so long you don’t remember what rested feels like, you’re not broken. You’re overloaded.

Your days are probably full of “micro-switching”: reply to a message, half-read an article, check a notification, stir dinner, swap the laundry, scroll a bit, answer a kid’s question, open a new tab “for later.”

Each tiny swap feels harmless.

But stacked together? 

They quietly train your nervous system to live in permanent sprint mode.

Here’s the deeper issue: you’re not just doing tasks. You’re carrying all of them in your head at once.

That’s why your to-do list never gets shorter—it’s not a list, it’s a loop.

Slow productivity isn’t about slacking off. It’s about refusing to live your entire life in crisis mode.

But here’s the part that surprised me when I started testing this with parents: the problem isn’t that we don’t know we’re overloaded. It’s that we don’t know what to cut. 

So we cut nothing—and slowly disappear.

So what does that actually look like when you’re staring at a day that feels impossible?

2. The Gentle Side of Pareto (Why 20% Is Plenty)

Here’s something you probably know intellectually but don’t live like you believe it: most of what you do all day doesn’t actually matter.

The Pareto Principle says roughly 80% of your results come from about 20% of your efforts.

For tired parents, let me translate: you’re spending most of your energy on things that won’t move the needle.

Here’s the part no one tells tired parents: this isn’t just a business rule.

It’s a sanity rule. It’s the difference between a Tuesday that breaks you and a Tuesday you survive.

Most days, a small handful of actions genuinely move your life forward:

• A focused hour on the one project that matters.

• A real conversation with your partner where you’re both actually present.

• Ten unrushed minutes with your kid at bedtime when you’re not already planning tomorrow.

• One walk where your brain finally gets to wander instead of work.

The rest? Noise, most of the time.

So if you’re wondering how to increase productivity without burning out, it’s not about cramming more in. It’s about being ruthless (in a kind way) about what actually counts.

Instead of asking “How do I do more?”, try:

Once you know which 2–3 things actually matter, you need a way to protect them from everything else. That’s where most productivity advice fails parents. It assumes you control your day. 

You don’t. So here’s what works instead…

3. The “Enough List”: A Self-Care Reframe for Busy Days

Traditional to-do lists are sneaky. They act like simple tools but quietly move the goalpost every time you cross something off.

That question—“which 2–3 things would make today enough?”—is the foundation of what I call the “Enough List.” And it works precisely because traditional to-do lists don’t.

Here’s how it works:

• In the morning (or the night before), you name 1–3 things that, if done, would make today enough

• Everything else becomes “nice if it happens, totally okay if it doesn’t”

• You anchor your day to sufficiency, not perfection

It’s slow productivity in real life: you’re still moving forward, but at a humane pace that respects your nervous system, your family, and your finite energy.

On paper, this looks small.

In practice, it’s a radical act of self-respect.

The Enough List sounds simple. And it is—on day one.

But around day three or four, something uncomfortable happens.

You realize how much of your exhaustion was optional.

And if you’re honest?

Choosing “enough” means admitting you can’t do it all. That’s where the real work begins.

4. What You Gain When You Let Some Things Die Off

There’s a quiet grief in admitting: “I can’t keep carrying all of this.”

Letting go of certain expectations, projects, or roles can feel like failure at first. But watch what tends to show up in the space you create:

• Actual presence with your kids instead of half-listening

• Ideas that appear in the shower, on a walk, or while making tea

• A calmer baseline—less snapping, less resentment, fewer late-night spirals

When you stop trying to water ten plants at once, two or three finally have a chance to grow.

This is where self-care ideas stop being bubble baths and become something deeper: boundaries, decisions, and a life that can actually hold you.

What would change if you measured your days by the depth of your attention, not the length of your list?

So if letting go creates space—and space creates presence—how do you actually practice this in real time?

Not as a concept.

As a nightly ritual that takes less time than brushing your teeth.

5. A Seven-Night “Enough” Ritual (Start Tonight)

Let’s make this real.

Not with a 30-day challenge or a new habit tracker.

Just seven nights. Sixty seconds each.

Starting tonight, in whatever notebook is closest to your bed.

Step 1 – Name the weight & decide what to release

Write down one thing that feels heavy right now. Just one. A project, an expectation, a recurring obligation. Get it out of your head and onto a page.

Then circle something related to that weight you’re willing to pause, cancel, postpone, or downgrade. Not forever—just for tomorrow. Practice loosening your grip.

Step 2 – Choose your “Enough List” for the next day

Pick 1–3 items that, if done, would let you say, “Today was enough.” A work task, a moment with your kid, a tiny piece of creative work, a walk. That’s your bar.

Step 3 – Speak it out loud & notice what softens

Literally speak it:

“Tomorrow will be enough if I ____, ____, and ____.”

Your nervous system needs to hear permission, not just think it.

As you do this for a week, pay attention to any small shifts: slightly easier mornings, a little less dread, maybe one less argument born from pure exhaustion.

Action Steps

• Tonight, write down one thing that feels unbearably heavy—and one related commitment you’re willing to pause for a day

• Create a three-item “Enough List” for tomorrow: one work thing, one personal/family thing, one self-care thing

• Choose a daily white-space pocket (10–20 minutes) where your brain isn’t allowed to consume—only wander

• At the end of each day this week, ask: “Did I honor my Enough List?” If yes, you’re done. If no, adjust tomorrow’s list down, not up

• After seven days, notice: what got better when you stopped trying to be superhuman?

If “doing enough” became your new standard, how much of your exhaustion would finally be allowed to leave?

If this landed for you, hit reply and tell me what’s going on your first “Enough List.” And if you know another tired parent who needs permission to do less, forward this their way.

Matt

P.S. If you’re looking for even more, be sure to check out The 15 Minute Chaos-To-Clarity Reset today!